用微(wei)笑來面對(dui)煩惱(nao)

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.
我正在進(jin)行(xing)我的“快樂項目”，你也應該有一個(ge)！每個(ge)人的項目看上(shang)去(qu)都(dou)不(bu)同，但(dan)是絕(jue)大(da)多(duo)數(shu)人都(dou)會從中受(shou)益——不(bu)需(xu)要努力趕(gan)超，只要立刻參(can)與(yu)。

Everyone says, and it's true, that one of the most effective ways to handle negative emotions is to lighten up. If things are sad, try to find a reason to laugh. If you're angry, joke around. Easier said than done, however.
 大家都知(zhi)道，處(chu)理消(xiao)極情緒最有效(xiao)方式之(zhi)一是“放輕松(song)”。如(ru)果你(ni)悲傷，找一個大笑的理由。如(ru)果你(ni)生氣，去開個玩笑。不(bu)過(guo)，做比說(shuo)要難。

I had a chance to keep my resolution to "Make a joke of it" last night. As a consequence of certain marital negotiations last year (not conducted in the most happiness-boosting way, I must confess), my husband took on the job of dealing with my daughter's adventure in orthodontia. The orthodontist's office is right around the corner from his office, and he agreed that he'd schedule the appointments and take her. Which was GREAT!
上(shang)周(zhou)，我(wo)有一個(ge)機會得以運用“一笑了之”。 按照去年的(de)(de)(de)(de)家庭協議（我(wo)得承認，這協議并不是在(zai)一片(pian)祥和(he)的(de)(de)(de)(de)氣氛(fen)中簽訂的(de)(de)(de)(de)），我(wo)丈(zhang)夫負(fu)責(ze)女(nv)兒牙齒矯正術的(de)(de)(de)(de)事項。牙齒校(xiao)正醫生的(de)(de)(de)(de)辦(ban)公(gong)室就在(zai)他(ta)的(de)(de)(de)(de)辦(ban)公(gong)室拐角，丈(zhang)夫同意(yi)由他(ta)安排時間帶她去。這真太棒了!

On our flight to Kansas City for the holidays, the Big Girl lost her "functional applicance" (the new-fangled thing she wears in her mouth, except when she's eating). We looked everywhere on the plane; it was gone. We got back home a week later, and the Big Man didn't call to make an appointment. Days went by. I reminded him periodically, but nothing happened.
在我們去(qu)堪薩斯(si)度假的航班上，我千(qian)金把(ba)她的“設備”（就是(shi)她嘴里戴的新鮮玩意，吃東西時得取下來）弄丟了。我們在飛機(ji)上四(si)處找遍了還是(shi)沒(mei)有。一(yi)周后我們回(hui)到家，大男人沒(mei)有打牙醫電(dian)話預約。時間一(yi)天天過去(qu)。我隔一(yi)段時間就提(ti)醒他，但是(shi)他無動于衷。

Whenever I thought about this delay, I became extremely annoyed. Last night, I stomped into our bedroom ready to turn on my anger at full volume. "This really matters, this is important, she's growing now, what's the point, it's expensive, she'll only have to have braces longer, you promised you'd do it, " etc., etc., etc. Then I thought, "Make a joke of it."
一想起(qi)他的拖拉，我(wo)就十分惱怒。昨(zuo)晚，我(wo)跺著腳進臥室，準備大發(fa)雷霆(ting)。“這(zhe)真的很要緊(jin)，很重(zhong)要，她(ta)正在發(fa)育，而(er)且，那(nei)很貴，她(ta)只得再等(deng)(deng)(deng)下去(qu)，而(er)你答應過會去(qu)做。”等(deng)(deng)(deng)等(deng)(deng)(deng)，等(deng)(deng)(deng)等(deng)(deng)(deng)。可又一想，干脆“一笑了(le)之”。

So I went over, put my arm around the Big Man, and said nicely, “You know what? If you don't call the orthodontist's tomorrow, I'm going to be furious, I'm going to be enraged, I'm going to be beside myself. I'm not threatening, just giving you fair warning.” And I laughed while I said it.
于是我(wo)走過去，用手臂摟著(zhu)他，溫柔地說：“你(ni)(ni)知道(dao)嗎？如果(guo)你(ni)(ni)明天還不給校正牙(ya)醫打電話。我(wo)會(hui)(hui)很生(sheng)氣。我(wo)會(hui)(hui)發(fa)怒(nu)，我(wo)不知道(dao)會(hui)(hui)做(zuo)出什么事情。我(wo)可(ke)沒(mei)威脅你(ni)(ni)，只是給你(ni)(ni)一個公正的警告”。我(wo)邊說還一邊笑。

"I know, I know!" he said, shaking his head. "I'll send myself an email right now." And he did. And today he made the appointment.
他(ta)搖了搖頭說：“知(zhi)道，知(zhi)道啦！我現在就給自己發一封郵(you)件。” 他(ta)還真發了。今天他(ta)約好(hao)了醫生。

I'm not sure if making a joke of it was more effective than getting angry, but I don't think it was less effective. And it was a much nicer way to have that unpleasant exchange. I was happier about it, and the Big Man was happier about it.
我(wo)不確定說(shuo)笑(xiao)會不會比憤怒更(geng)奏(zou)效(xiao)，但是(shi)我(wo)相信效(xiao)果(guo)不會更(geng)差。而且(qie)比讓人不愉快的交流方式好(hao)得多。我(wo)對這個方法更(geng)滿意；大男人也一樣(yang)。

I used the same technique on myself last weekend. I had a bunch of dreaded, dull tasks to take care of. I told myself, "I'm going to clear away a lot of these chores in the next two days. It's going to be the 'Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks'! Like the 'Rodents of Unusual Size, ' in The Princess Bride." As I groaned to myself as I put away the holiday decorations, organized my address list for our Valentine's cards, finally dealt with the mail that came when we were out of town, and other things too dull to mention, I repeated to myself, "Oh well, this is the Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks." And just making that little joke to myself made it easier to tackle those tasks.
上(shang)周(zhou)末(mo)我(wo)(wo)(wo)對自(zi)己采(cai)用了(le)相同的(de)方(fang)法(fa)。我(wo)(wo)(wo)有一堆煩人(ren)無聊的(de)事情要做(zuo)。我(wo)(wo)(wo)對自(zi)己說：“我(wo)(wo)(wo)明后兩天把這(zhe)(zhe)些雜活都做(zuo)掉。這(zhe)(zhe)將是‘恐怖任(ren)(ren)務周(zhou)’！就好像(xiang)The Princess Bride書中的(de)‘超(chao)大(da)型嚙齒動(dong)物’”。我(wo)(wo)(wo)一邊(bian)自(zi)個兒(er)抱怨一邊(bian)把節日飾物放好、整理(li)情人(ren)節卡片(pian)的(de)地址、最后處理(li)不在家時收到的(de)郵(you)件，等等，其(qi)他(ta)的(de)事情我(wo)(wo)(wo)都懶得再提(ti)。我(wo)(wo)(wo)反復告訴自(zi)己：“好吧，這(zhe)(zhe)是恐怖任(ren)(ren)務周(zhou)。” 就這(zhe)(zhe)樣(yang)，給自(zi)己編一個笑話，事情便更容易處理(li)了(le)。

Of course, I recognize that in neither case when I kept my resolution to "Make a joke of it" was I really funny. My jokes weren't funny at all. But just the attempt to take a humorous attitude made a huge difference.
當(dang)然，我承認，在遵守“一笑(xiao)(xiao)了之”的(de)決意中(zhong)，我并不覺得有趣。我的(de)笑(xiao)(xiao)話一點(dian)也不好(hao)笑(xiao)(xiao)。但(dan)采用一個幽默的(de)態度卻(que)能讓情況有很大(da)改(gai)觀。

It's easy to say "make a joke of it, " but it's hard to do when you're feeling angry, scared, bored, or upset. Have you found a way to get yourself to make a joke?
說“一笑(xiao)了之”容易，但是當你感(gan)到(dao)憤怒、害怕、無聊或(huo)煩心的時候要做(zuo)到(dao)很難。你找到(dao)了一個(ge)讓自己開玩(wan)笑(xiao)的方法嗎？